


Love is a Burden

by JensenAckles13



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-05
Updated: 2013-12-05
Packaged: 2018-01-03 12:48:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1070629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JensenAckles13/pseuds/JensenAckles13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loving Dean Winchester was hard</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love is a Burden

Loving A Blessing   
Loving a Winchester is hard. You subject yourself to pig headed stuborness that you have to deal with on a daily basis. You have to deal with the death wish that they all seem to have. You have to deal with the enemies that try to take him from you. You have to deal with the tears they cry when the pain becomes too much and the vodka runs out. You have to deal with the arguments they put up when you try to tell them they're heroes. You have to deal with the words they shout when they realize giving up just may be better than moving on. You have to deal with the voiceless words of love and the silent appraisals. You have to deal with the hidden emotions and the whispered apologies. You have to deal with the self-depreciation that comes with the quiet appreciation.   
Loving Dean Winchester is even harder. You have to look away as he breaks your favorite Elvis record in half because he's sick of listening to Can't Help Falling In Love. You have to step back and watch as he tears himself down brick by brick. You have to listen to the ring of shattering glass and the crash of breaking plaster. You have to feel the hands, rough from time, as they clutch yours in desperate apology, speaking more with that single touch than he'd spoken all week. You have to listen to the roar of the engine as he drives away in rushed anguish. You have to wait for him to stumble in the door, catch him as he falls, too drunk from the pain to stand on his own. You have to tuck him into bed and promise him everything's going to be alright even though it's not a promise you can't keep. You have to hum 'Hey Jude' because that's what his mama used to do otherwise he can't sleep....not with the nightmares you both want so badly to disappear.  
Loving Dean Winchester is the hardest thing you've ever done. He stays out until one, drowning himself in his own fear of abandonment. You have to stay outside the bathroom door as he throws up everything he'd managed to drink that night. He leaves you pacing at the front door as you anxiously watch the clock, begging to hear his fumbling attemtps to unlock the door. You have to deal with his constant movements that mimic one of a wild animal. You have to listen to the blasted music that cuts you out when your trying to get in. You have to deal with the doors that slam in your face when you try to help in the only way you know is okay. You have to bite your tongue while he's fuming, alone, in his pool of guilt. You have to walk away when you know he's breaking himself down, locking himself away in his mind where he knows he can't be hurt. You have to hold him in your arms as he sobs, asking why can't I be good enough, why does everyone leave me, why can't someone love me. You have to close your eyes and rock him in time with your heartbeat, stopping yourself from telling him he is good enough, that you won't leave him, that you love him.

**Author's Note:**

> In case you couldn't tell from my other works, I really love Destiel...it's my OTP


End file.
